Tuesday, March 30, 2010

do they only ask women these questions?

This morning I found myself browsing the NY Times and settled on an article titled "The Sandra Bullock Trade." Huh? This seemed like something I would expect from People magazine, but maybe not the Times, so naturally I read it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html

WTF. I DID read this article on People online a few weeks ago. And I'd thought it was f'd-up then also. While this writer wasn't so overt in doing it, why is the media marring her Academy Award win by putting it in the same sentence with her crappy husbands behavior? Sigh.

Do people make these same assertions when male Oscar winners find themselves in an unhappy home situation also? Does anyone even pay attention to these guys home lives after their win? Do they also get subtly blamed and asked if it was worth it to have professional acclaim over personal disaster? Is it implied that one is directly related to the other, as if you can only choose success in one area of your life at a time? No it seems that particular range of commentary is reserved for the womenfolk.

It is sad that we are still having this conversation. Especially when we see repeat evidence that women who haven't cultivated their own careers still get cheated on (Elin Woods, anyone?) which makes me think that maybe the problem isn't that a woman might choose to have a career and succeed in it. Maybe the problem is that some people (men AND women) are cheaters and liars and if you've married one of them then it's only a matter of time until they cheat on you.

To wrap this up, my conclusion/advice is this:
1. Try to choose your mate carefully
2. Then accept that they are human and flawed like you
3. Armed with this knowledge go on to live you life by whatever terms make you happiest

At least that's what I'm trying to do on 2010, and beyond!

Kisses,
m.

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