do they only ask women these questions?

This morning I found myself browsing the NY Times and settled on an article titled "The Sandra Bullock Trade." Huh? This seemed like something I would expect from People magazine, but maybe not the Times, so naturally I read it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html

WTF. I DID read this article on People online a few weeks ago. And I'd thought it was f'd-up then also. While this writer wasn't so overt in doing it, why is the media marring her Academy Award win by putting it in the same sentence with her crappy husbands behavior? Sigh.

Do people make these same assertions when male Oscar winners find themselves in an unhappy home situation also? Does anyone even pay attention to these guys home lives after their win? Do they also get subtly blamed and asked if it was worth it to have professional acclaim over personal disaster? Is it implied that one is directly related to the other, as if you can only choose success in one area of your life at a time? No it seems that particular range of commentary is reserved for the womenfolk.

It is sad that we are still having this conversation. Especially when we see repeat evidence that women who haven't cultivated their own careers still get cheated on (Elin Woods, anyone?) which makes me think that maybe the problem isn't that a woman might choose to have a career and succeed in it. Maybe the problem is that some people (men AND women) are cheaters and liars and if you've married one of them then it's only a matter of time until they cheat on you.

To wrap this up, my conclusion/advice is this:
1. Try to choose your mate carefully
2. Then accept that they are human and flawed like you
3. Armed with this knowledge go on to live you life by whatever terms make you happiest

At least that's what I'm trying to do on 2010, and beyond!

Kisses,
m.

labor pains

i've been with a friend who is in labor all day and it really is a beautiful thing to watch. i'm not really close to her, but i grew up with her husband and, if needed, we'd tell people we're related. hell, that's what we've told the hospital staff today so we could be in the room. his mother called from las vegas to asked lemuria to just be with them and i tagged along, thinking it would be a quick drop in and drop out and then we'd catch some brunch. it's been 5 hours and i don't plan to leave until the baby gets here.

anyway, it really is amazing looking at her being with the labor, the way she was before and after the epidural and just looking and her being present. we were rubbing her back and her shins as she breathed through the contractions and there was a moment for me. it's inspiring. i'm kind of envious. giving birth just seems like such powerful experience, and while imani did strongly caution me against it, i think it's something that i need to do. funny how this summer/fall has become baby season for me.

i guess that's what 33 makes you into.

hee hee.
m.

so this was my thursday

the battle of the museums was pure freshness. i was accidentally repping for queens, but i am a straight uptown/museo del barrio girl. i totally lifted this from someone's twitter post, but i think it captures duke riley's genius rather efficiently!

good times in new york.
damn it, i need to find my camera.

kisses,
m.

ny magazine review link attached. they are so much more eloquent than i...
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2009/08/saltz_duke_rileys_insane_trium.html

i guess i'm speaking in poems these days

this haiku came to me today, i'd like to share.

smiles and insults are
like an old happy couple.
they like to stay close.

i'm doing a concierge thing this week. it's great because it involves all the troubleshooting i love as well as shopping with other people's money. and i'm staying busy, which is nice.

until!
m.

bikram is my homeboy

i feel so lazy about my blog. it's partially that i am in ny, but it's also that i need a digital camera, i cannot seem to find mine, and there is no shame in having two. i mean, i could be narrating my new york life. i could talk about the amazing erykah badu concert last night, or the great time i had in newburg with my friends who are having a lovely life there. i could talk about my daily bikram practice which is making me feel stronger, and could hint around my current life challenges. i could talk about how i feel really good about my reiki practice this minute, and let my friends know that i'm trying to strengthen that practice and am open to trades. hint.

but that could be exhausting. so i just feel like submitting a simple bikram poem that danced around my head as i walk from class this afternoon. i was going to name it bikram is my lover, but i like homeboy better.


bikram is my homeboy

i'm not generally a woman about ice water
or sweating in the heat,
but in my practice everyday those feelings must be beat

my tummy feels much fitter
not that it was bad,
but in balancing stick pose these days it's looking rather rad

give me a water bottle
nay give me two,
anything that'll allow me to live through this will do

my practice is my joy
it helps my equanimity,
when feeling overwhelmed for me it is a perfect remedy.


it still feels unfinished, but it's late. maybe i'll edit in the sunlight.

kisses amores!
m.

driving like a mexican... in ny

driving like a mexican in nyc doesn't actually work. i know new yorkers are supposed to be crazy drivers, but they have nothing on your average mexican driver just heading to the superama.

anyway, been here for 5 days and almost feel like i never left. seriously, this is exactly what april was like, bikram in the morning, random errands, lunch with friends and the occasional movie mixed with random to-dos in the evening. and drinking. seriously, i'd forgotten how much drinking we do in this city, and how easy it is to hemorrhage money. the money part is also serious. i walk out the door and that's like a$60 surcharge. i'm not even sure what my money has gone to, but it's definitely loving that spot a lot more than it likes my bank account. that said i have purchased some LOVELY turquoise jeans. clearly i'm taking my blue phase seriously.

still acclimating to being able to understand everyone. it's so... different. i keep wanting to move into aggressive hand gesturing and loud talking (like that really helps) but catch myself and sure enough, everyone i hang with in nyc totally speaks english. let's see if brazil stumps me as much, as i'm not even a little prepared for brazilian portuguese.

talk soon!
m.

dallas! really?

trapped in dallas for the evening. i say my plane push away but i wasn't on it and american airlines put me up in a hotel. dallas? really? there are maybe 50 other cites that i would be excited to be stuck in. dallas wasn't one of them.

that said, i had a pretty ok time here. there was the taste of dallas happening and i had some life changing crawfish and blackened shrip situation on the street. i also got to catch up on nyc life with my sis while enjoying a beer at the west end pub. i think my waiter was micro-flirting with me. whatever, in the end he gave me happy hour prices at midnight, so yay! anyway, home tomorrow. apparently lemuria is picking me up at the airport and we are running to bk to see maiysha. from the plane. so i suppose i will be smelly at my summer 09 nyc/bk debut.

anyway, had a great final july day in gdl. i braved the public bus system on my own and went to tlaquepaque. on my own. on the public bus. with no real direction. have i mentioned i was alone? i spent more time trying to figure out where to get on the bus than i actually spent on the bus. and then there was the staring, hoboy, there was staring. in taxi's i dont really have to appreciate how much i'm stared at in gdl. but there's nothing like being on public transportation alone to put that all in perspective. i bought beautiful things at tlaqupaque, including a shirt that i only purchased because i didn't understand it.

hell, a girl has to have reasons, even if they don't make sense.

then, after my bus adventure, i went to a resturant named 'la dolce vita' in centro magno for dinner with a glitterly assortment of mexicans. i think any place named 'la dolce vita' brings out the glittery set, internationally (imani, you may recall the 'dolce vita' in firenze). there i finally had a pizza in mexico with mozerella rather than queso gouda. yay! also had a yummy grappa. when i get back i'm taking erin!

excited about ny. excited about not being in dallas.
first class better be awesome tomorrow!

until!
m.